“You have cancer.”
Those were the words I heard on April 27, 2016.
My heart sank in sorrow. A sorrow that pierced the depths of my soul. A sorrow that made my heart physically hurt and my body tremble in fear. Sorrow that brought upon nausea and crippled my flesh.
Sitting in the doctors office, I immediately tried to process this information, yet all I could do was bury my face into my husbands shoulder and weep with him.
This was the day my life changed.
Will I get to grow old with Emilio? Will I see my children graduate high school? Am I going to die? “GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”
Those were some of the questions that bombarded my mind instantly.
After hours of being pricked and poked, I was sent home to wait on the results of my biopsy. That’s it…? Home with little information and no answers to my questions.
I was devastated.
“Jesus replied, ‘You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” – John 13:7
April 28th came and went. By now, my family was aware of this heart breaking news.
Anticipating the results of my biopsy, I looked back on the day before and I couldn’t help but think that God had been with me the entire day. My nurse was a believer of Jesus Christ and continued to remind me of God’s promises.
And the tech that took care of me was not on call that day, yet came in to work anyway. She had cancer and was able to share her encouraging testimony with me.
At the time of me receiving the news of cancer, I couldn’t see these blessings in front of me. But on this day, I was reminded that I was never alone. I was reminded that God is the same yesterday today and always (Hebrews 13:8). You see, God never changes. He was the same God that was by my side when I was healthy, and the same God that was with me when I received the news of having cancer, and HE is the same God that will be in my future. I felt the love of God in an amazing way.
“Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” – Matthew 6:27
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving , let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:6-7
April 29th finally came around. We sat and waited for my name to be called in to see the doctor. Thankfully, moments of laughter made time go a little quicker, thanks to my sister and brother Alex that joined my Emilio and I for support that day.
Unfortunately, my biopsy results confirmed what doctors believed.
I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. Invasive. Which meant that the cancer had spread, but strictly in the area, and It was very aggressive (growing very fast).
Doctors found more than 7 tumors in my right breast and I was told I would start chemo in less than 2 weeks. 3 days ago, I was wanting answers and now I had them. I felt a little better, but reality was setting in oh so quickly, and it was so hard to face.
After more testing, MRIs, and blood work, I was sent home again to process all of this information.
On May 1st, we spoke to our church family. We asked them to pray for us, and I know it is being done. I want you to know, family, that at times when you feel helpless, pray.
Know that you are not “just “praying. And it’s not “only” prayer. This IS how you can help.
James 5:16 says, “The prayers of the righteous are powerful and effective!”
I believe that your prayers are being heard.
I’m super nervous to what’s coming up but trusting in God every step of the way. Cancer is a big name to be thrown into my life… BUT HOPE also has a name. Peace has a name. LOVE has a name. And that name is bigger than ALL names.
That name is JESUS CHRIST!
I am reminded that my identity is NOT in cancer but in God almighty.
I will go wherever God takes me, and I will declare that the enemy has no authority over my life. None. He can ask God for permission to “sift me like wheat.”
Just As he asked Jesus permission to tear Peter apart! But that’s just it. He had to ask for permission to the only One that has full authority over me.
The enemy is limited in what he can do. So limited!
God is with me the entire way and I will praise him through this storm!
May I be able to lift my hands to him no matter where I am.
God allows all things. And all things work together for good to those who love Him! (Romans 8:28)
Everything happens to magnify the glory of God.
I am ready to magnify that glory. This is why we live. This is my purpose!
May God use me in every way! My heart is willing to be this vessel of God’s praise. We are all praying for healing! Yet, if I have to go through this hard road, I know I will not be forsaken!
I have my moments of full on crying. My hubby too. More like the flesh fighting the spirit. But most moments are of laughter and appreciation for my family. I can hear God whispering to me throughout the day, “Come as you are.” Every tear I cry, He holds in his hands. And though my heart is torn, I will praise Him through this storm.
God is so good! The peace I have is because of the reality that I’m in and have no control over. This is true surrender. I was made to surrender. When we surrender all, it truly is “well with our souls.” Because the only thing that comes from surrendering is Peace! And there is no better place to be!
“Draw near to God and he will draw near to you.” – James 4:8
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.” – Proverbs 3:5-6
Family, friends and church family, your prayers are being felt! They sustain us. Our God is our rock and we will not be shaken!
Wow! God chose me… chose me to go through the fire. And I know He will give me strength to rise in it! Thank you, Lord!
“What is man that you are mindful of him, human being that you care for them?” – Psalm 8:4
This will be a testimony! Don’t let your hearts be troubled! Our ways are not His ways and our thoughts are not His thoughts. Believe that God has a mighty plan and that earth has no sorrow that heaven can’t heal.
I kindly ask if you would join me in facing this battle. It’s time to suit up in armor and get ready to fight on our knees!